this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
