call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
