You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
