is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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