I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The struggles of a small town man whore
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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