After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
