Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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