i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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