It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
After tacos, we're chasing women.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
