i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
