so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Randomize
