Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
