question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
