i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
