bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
