Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I supernannyed him into submission
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
