If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
