One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
