STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Randomize
