Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
