he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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