Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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