cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So vagazzling was a success
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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