they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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