Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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