how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
