dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Sorry my hands just texted you
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
