and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
