He passed out mid-signature
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Randomize
