you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
