My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Randomize
