Got a toothbrush?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
