He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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