all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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