he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
