Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
sex in a hospital.. check
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We need to get me chipped asap
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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