i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
