Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
