so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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