FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
