you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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