U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
