Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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