I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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