Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
This is my gift to your gina
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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