Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
do nipples grow back?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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