I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
