Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
