Midget sex pt 2 tonight
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
