Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just had sex on a roof
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
